Of what seemed to be a gruesome year of waiting, the time has finally come for another leave. Spending the summer in Québec and a short trip to Vancouver both played as good practise to an upcoming, and greater adventure ahead, but will I ever be ready? Though excitement settles at the surface, fear stirs in the undercurrent.
Since young, I’ve always dreamed of travelling the world and exploring many destinations. However, the greater leap is becoming harder and harder to make. There is a growing attachment to comfort and certainty, but also queries of “what ifs” challenges my inner risk-taker. Truly an awkward phase of mid 20’s, I can’t help but wonder whether there really is a ‘right’ decision. Should I stay or should I go? (Did you catch the two, relatively modern-day references? I admit victim to binge-watching.)
Yet what I’m most certain about is how much my aspirations has power over all fears. Driven by my desire to attain certain goals, I somehow always end up towards unpredictable paths. This does not all come without embarrassment or failure, but the reward of opportunities and growth balances out the equation. Ultimately, the opportunity to learn far outweighs the ghost of anxiety.
And so with a heavy heart, I am reluctantly counting down the days to my next step. In the exterior, I draw a face of conviction and certainty but in the midst of it all, I am hiding in the corner of my parents’ house underneath the blankets of comfort. I suppose it’s time to move out of the basement. A now or never situation, really.